Dating Apps: The Review No One Asked For

Posted on July 30, 2019 by Em

Love how Bumble keeps saying people like me yet no one will answer me back…

Ah dating apps. Can’t live with them, can definitely live without them. Now I’ve tried your fair share of dating apps including an odd one which just filled my inbox with messages from older men in Russia.

What makes one dating app different from another? Not much to be honest, but here’s my review of how dating apps work in the 21st century:

Disclaimer: I don’t take a lot of things in life seriously, including dating apps. So don’t come for me just because you found your soulmate on Tinder

Bumble:

Looking for a more sophisticated swiping app? This ain’t it.

Bumble profiles feature mainly images, and profile prompts cough stolen from Hinge cough to learn more about your potential future partner.
If you swipe right and get a match, you’ve got to put on your thinking cap as girls need to make the first move within 24 hours. As I’ve learned the hard way, “Hey! How’s it going?” is not a good enough opener.
They also send an awful lot of notifications. Like if I go on for 2 minutes, swipe a bit and then close, apparently there are 75 people in my area who are all of a sudden interested.
One of my friends did meet her long-term committed boyfriend after a day on Bumble. So there’s that.

Hinge:

The “I tried to do something different” app.

Hinge has what they call “ice breakers” which allows you to respond to questions and show off more than just your looks. Users either like your images or prompts to start a conversation.
They’re also quite confident in themselves and keep trying to play matchmaker. They’ll send you notifications and emails of people they think you should meet.
They brand themselves as “the app that’s meant to be deleted” yet I’ve had it for 186 days.

The League:

I’m pretty sure I sold my soul just to use this app.

The League makes you connect all your social accounts. Even LinkedIn.
There’s this waitlist you’re added to and only once they have every single piece of information about you do they let you properly join.
If you’re not willing to pay $999 a month (this is their actual pricing btw), you don’t even get to access all the features. All you get are 3 potential matches at 5 pm every day.
This review is biased because apparently I’ve been removed for “flakiness” because I didn’t check the app enough. If I pay the $999 per month though, I can get my account back! #WorthIt

Ship:

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Ship is actually cofounded by @Betches.
You can swipe for yourself or have your friends join and swipe for you.
This is my newest dating app and I won’t lie, I don’t really get it.
No one in my “crew” seemed to be able to figure it out, so it’s a no from me.

Tinder:

Tinder sucks because they banned me. For life. And won’t tell me why.

Again, I’m happy for you if you found your soulmate on a dating app. Totally not jealous or sarcastic. I’m really happy for you 😒

Breaking Out of Hibernation: Hot Yoga

Posted on January 30, 2019 by Em

New year, new me blah blah blah.

I’m not the first, nor will I be the last person to make fitness-based new year’s resolutions. But this year I decided to do something different. I decided to be proactive.

What does that mean? That means getting off my butt and doing something that gets my blood pumping. This is where hot yoga comes in. Hot yoga not only gets me moving, but ensō yoga is also located directly in my office building so I really don’t have an excuse for not going.

For those who don’t know what hot yoga is, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Yoga. But hot. Like 40 degrees hot. Like I’m-a-sweaty-mess-after-five-minutes hot. Like my-waterproof-mascara-won’t-even-survive hot. Sounds great right?

So why do it? Because even though I feel like I’m dying and that if I have to do downward dog one more time I might fall on my face, I actually end up feeling really great after. Even being sore for three days after feels like it’s worth it because I know I’m doing something that will help with both my physical and mental health.

It also helps that I’ve got a few friends who motivate me to go. They push me to go after work even though I’d rather go home and binge Parks and Recreation, or early Sunday mornings when I would much rather just stay in bed. I’m also now posting this to the blog, so I feel like that should hold me accountable as well.

All in all, hot yoga may be brutal, but I plan on sticking it out for 2019.

A Trip Back in Time: Beautys

Posted on May 6, 2018 by Em

The best part about brunch? You can order a bagel and mac n’ cheese and no one will judge you.

My friends and I love going to brunch together and are always on the lookout for a new place to try. On my latest brunch outing, I discovered Beautys on Mont-Royal West.

Loving the retro vibe menu

Established in 1942, Beautys is known as one of the birthplaces of Montreal brunch. Located on the corner of Mont-Royal West and St. Urbain, people come from far and wide to indulge in generous portions and decadent dishes like the Beautys Special or the Beauty Breakfast Melt.

Allllllll the food

While we did have to wait in line to get in, I would definitely say it’s worth the wait. Look at all that food! I had to order a side of mac n’ cheese because ya girl can’t resist a good mac n’ cheese. Needless to say, delicious food and retro diner atmosphere make for a great brunch spot.

Room Goals: My Favourite Amazon Find

Posted on September 4, 2017 by Em

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a slight addiction with Amazon. Just a slight one…

I always turn to Amazon when I need to purchase something, but I’ve always focused on the essentials that I could get delivered to me ASAP through Amazon Prime. I had never thought of checking out what else they had to offer. After doing some searching, I noticed they actually had a great selection of wall tapestries.

Now there is something you should know about me. I am your basic white girl. So of course when I was thinking of decor pieces for my bedroom, I immediately thought of putting up a tapestry. I was considering getting a mandala one, but I wanted to get something that would add a nice pop of colour to my room.

When I was in Japan last year, I was on the hunt for a poster of “The Great Wave off Kanagawa“. It’s always been one of my favourite pieces and I knew that it would fit well into my super neutral theme of my apartment. However, after spending two weeks in Japan, I had no such luck of finding anything.

Fast forward to two weeks ago when I finally did find it: the perfect “The Great Wave off Kanagawa” tapestry on Amazon. The tapestry was available in 3 different sizes and was available for an incredibly good price. Like almost too good of a price. I was sure I was going to receive and it would be the size of a hand towel and not even have the right print on it. But luckily, I was wrong. Ten days after ordering it, it arrived looking pretty dang good for only costing me $20.

As I had hoped for, the tapestry adds the perfect amount of colour to my bedroom, without affecting my neutral theme. And by neutral, I basically mean white.

The perfect tapestry

Moral of the story, don’t underestimate what you can find on Amazon.

Mermaid Goals: L’Oréal Colorista

Posted on April 23, 2017 by Em

I like to tell people that I’m going through my teenage rebellion in my early 20’s, hence the reason for my ever-changing hair colours. I keep telling myself I’ll let the colour grown out and chop it off and stick to being a brunette. And then next thing I know, I’m at the drugstore with a box of bleach and some new funky colour in hand. My latest purchase included the new L’Oréal Colorista in the shade #INDIGO500.

That packaging tho

Now listen to me loud and clear:
I 👏 am 👏 not 👏 a 👏 hairdresser 👏
Never have been, probably never will be. I like changing up my hair colour and understand that there are consequences to colouring your hair at home.

Either way, I decided to take the risk and try something new. The kit came with the colour tube, a ton of gloves, a brush and the instructions.

I never need to worry about running out of gloves again

The application was easier than I thought it would be. The tube made it easy to get as much colour as I wanted, and the thick formula made it so that I only got hair dye on half the things in my bathroom (trust me, that’s actually a win). I left the colour in for about an hour and then hopped into the shower, excited to see how it would look.

Quite a few colours ended up rinsing out. There was pink, blue, a wee bit of purple. Although I do not believe I got my hair light enough before colouring it, once it was blow dried, the indigo looked pretty awesome.

Super awkward selfie trying to show off the colour

And then, it was time to wash my hair again. I get that colours fade, but my hair quickly went from indigo to aqua. I was actually pleasantly surprised with the colour and told myself I would let it fade and then cut it off.

Spoiler alert: that did not happen. I ended up buying the #TEAL10 shade and I think I have found my new go-to colour. Seriously, I feel like a pretty little land mermaid with my turquoise hair. Unlike the indigo shade, I find the teal fades less and doesn’t need to be touched up as often.

Sorry ma, not going back to a normal hair colour anytime soon

If you’re looking to change up your hair for summer, I definitely recommend giving the Colorista shades a try. Although you have been warned, you may get addicted!

When Life Gives You Lemons: Tequila Lemonade

Posted on February 26, 2017 by Em

If there is one thing I’m known for (apart from my dashing good looks and comedic humour), it’s my tequila lemonade.

It all started one day when I was having some friends over, but I realised the only alcohol I had was tequila. Now at that time I had never really drunk tequila and had no idea what to mix it with. I figured YOLO, I’ll mix it with something citrusy because it seemed like the best bet.

Using a little bit of this, a little bit of that, I’ve mastered a tequila lemonade recipe that will have you feeling mighty fine in no time:

2oz of simply syrup
4oz of tequila
6oz of lemon juice
1 oz of lime juice
Carbonated water

I can’t think of a recipe that is more straightforward than this. Basically add the simple syrup, tequila, lemon juice and lime juice in a pitcher. Top off with some carbonated water, invite a few friends over, and you’ll be sure to have a fun night!

Drink up!

Emily’s Adulting Adventures: Moving Out

Posted on December 1, 2016 by Em

Guys, it has finally happened.

Those who know me know that I’ve been saying “I’m moving out” for about the last 6 months… Yeah I know, what the hell right?

But I can explain… Ish. Well, firstly I needed to save money (it’s not called Diaries of a Broke A** Montreal Girl for nothing). Secondly, my future apartment needed a little TLC. 6 months, a new kitchen and 3 coats of paint later, my apartment was actually starting to come together.

The next step was furniture. As much as I love my mom, if she says we should go to Structube “just to look around”, I should know better. Now 6 months, a new kitchen, 3 coats of paint and $4,000 worth of furniture later, my apartment was really coming along.

My favourite part of my place has to be my bedroom. I swear I made it look like something straight out of a Tumblr famous blog (i.e.: white, fairy lights and art from Society6). I mean just look at it.

Super comfy bed featuring my super hipster records

All in all, even though it’s been a very long and expensive process, I can truly look at the apartment and feel like it’s really my place.

Now if only I could get my oven to work so I could eat something other than freakin’ avocado on toast…

Dolla Dolla Oysters Y’all : Joverse

Posted on October 25, 2016 by Em

What’s better than oysters? How about 1$ oysters?

I was scrolling on my Instagram the other day *shameless self-promotion* when I came across an ad for Joverse‘s Thursday special: 1$ oysters.

Now if I’ve learned anything in my 23 years of living, it’s that if something is too good to be true, it usually is. But this time my friends, it was true.

So my friend and I decided to check out what this special was all about. We were convinced that there was going to be some small print about how you had to order a 20$ drink or 50$ worth of food to take advantage of the special, but there wasn’t.

When we got there, we noticed no one seemed to be ordering oyster. I had originally thought I got the day of the week wrong, but our waitress confirmed that we were just really, really, really early. Apparently, fancy people only order oysters in the evening with a bottle of champagne to start their night of partying off right. Needless to say, my friend and I are not that type of person.

Round one

I had also completely underestimated my friend’s love for oysters. I thought we’d get a dozen oysters and maybe some food, but my friend had another idea in mind.

She is a beauty

One Joverse Poutine and thirty-six oysters later, we were done. We had demolished all the food in front of us and were slowly slipping into food comas. The Joverse Poutine was a delicious combination of Goat cheese fondue sauce and amazing duck fat French fries. The oysters definitely hit the spot and at that price point, I really can’t complain.

“You can eat after I’ve taken my photo”

If you’re looking to shake up your regular Thursday 5@7’s, definitely hit up Joverse and enjoy all the oysters you like!

Eyes Bigger Than the Stomach: Fiorellino

Posted on October 3, 2016 by Em

You can never have too much pizza, right?

Definitely right. Last week, my friend wanted to take me to Fiorellino, a quaint snack bar restaurant downtown. As soon as we walked in I grabbed my phone to take photos because it was already Instagram worthy.

After looking over the menu, we were having a hard time deciding between the Fritto Misto and the Piatto di Salumi as an appetizer so we did the logical thing of ordering both. And then we decided to be reasonable and order their Margherita pizza to share as a main.

Now people who know me know that I’m not exactly a seafood kind of gal. BUT FRY ANYTHING AND IT’S BASICALLY HEAVENLY. My friend and I devoured the first appetizer even though I didn’t know half of what I was eating.

Look at all that fried goodness

Then just when we thought it couldn’t get better, they brought us our second appetizer. Now when they say meat platter, they mean MEAT PLATTER. The board was so big I couldn’t even get the whole thing in the frame without standing up and looking obnoxious. Their focaccia had the right amount of spicing that made it match perfectly with the mix of prosciutto, salami, and other delicious dried meats.

Can’t even fit it in the frame

Just as we were about to enter our food coma, our waiter brought us our pizza. Now, I’m very picky when it comes to pizza because I’ve gotten used to enjoying my dad’s homemade dough, carefully measured ingredients and use of his magical pizza stone. But man, Fiorellino delivered. The crust was just crispy enough and the cheese had melted oh so perfectly so come together as a great dish.

Literarily nothing better than pizza

Everything about the evening was perfect, from the cozy atmosphere to the mouth-watering food. Definitely a place I’ll be returning to as the temperature starts to drop for some comforting Italian cuisine.

Burgers & Shakes: Deville Dinerbar

Posted on September 13, 2016 by Em

There’s probably nothing better than milkshakes. Except for alcoholic milkshakes and inside-out burgers.

I wanted to take my friend out for her birthday (~~because I missed her birthday~~ because I’m such a great friend), and we were making our way to our beloved MooseBawr. However, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Deville Dinerbar on Stanley and I immediately changed directions.

For those who have never been, Deville is a blast from the past. From the bright pink neon sign, to the old school menu items, Deville offers a fun dining experience like no other. Their menu offers an array of dishes from Crispy Mac and Cheese Stuffed Wontons to their Lobster BLTA. They also have quite an original drink menu with daily specials that will make you want to try each and every cocktail.

Table for one, drinks for two

Our waiter, who was just as beautiful as the diner (I swear Montreal restaurants only hire good looking waiters), was very attentive and provided really great service. He would constantly bring us napkins because when I say the burgers were juicy, I mean JUICY. Like you bite-into-it-and-it-squirts-onto-your-phone juicy. And the matchsticks fries were the perfect side dish to the enormous burgers.

Dat burger tho

Needless to say, we were pretty stuffed but their dessert menu looks absolutely heavenly. If anyone is looking for me, I’ll be at Deville slipping into a food coma after eating their Oreo Cookie Crusted Nutella Ice Cream Sandwich that has my name all over it.